Nicole Havelka Consulting Blog
in Change Leadership - Community - Healing - Mindfulness - Self Care

Leading with Feelings

I have a very good friend who I call when I’m having a lot of feelings. They tell me that they treasure these rambling voicemail messages that usually start sometime like, “I’m having two or three feelings at one time, and I’m not quite sure what to do …”

So the fact that I’ve been writing about having feelings the last couple weeks is comical, if not totally ironic. I’m the queen of wrestling feelings into submission or even eliminating them entirely from my body-mind. You could call it my superpower.

As I mentioned in passing in last week’s blog, my yoga and meditation practice has blown the lid off my carefully covered pot of emotions. A year or so ago, I was deeply uncomfortable with some professional choices I had made — a situation in which I had not found myself for a long time.

During that period, a treasured yoga mentor suggested that I practice the contemplation meditation. (Here’s a link to a video about contemplation mediation from my Mindful Monday series on Facebook.)

When I intensely practiced this meditation (every day for six weeks or so), an almost overwhelming array of feelings emerged. Feelings from long-past wounds from workplace and relationship failures surfaced like they happened yesterday. I ruminated on the current workplace struggles, my mind whirring to find ways to fix the problem and make it go away.

It was exhausting.

After several weeks of my mind turning over again and again the current workplace problem, I decided to step back and listen to what my mind was doing, from a little more detached perspective. Letting go of the need to fix the problem, I realized that the mistake was mine — I had accepted a job, motivated by need for steady income and health care, that really wasn’t my sense of calling and purpose. It drained and frustrated me. I had no patience for frustrating personalities.

At this point in 2020 — the year of great change — you might be finding yourself exhausted, drained, confused about your next steps. I get you. Everything that is happening in our lives, our culture, our world is A LOT. You’re probably being asked to do your work in totally new ways. You may be struggling to find ways to occupy yourself in lockdown. You may not know how to take care of yourself with your family around you constantly.

So maybe try the contemplation meditation I describe above for a few days or months. But, go gently on yourself in this meditation. In it, some long-held wound might emerge, and that’s OK. Lean into the discomfort as much as you are able and explore how that place inside you is in need of healing. That soft spot might just reveal the the universe’s new leading for your life.

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Looking for a little help finding YOUR path? Learn more about my work and my business during my Birthday Month of Connections networking series. I’ve planned virtual events throughout August where I’ve invited friends, colleagues, and potential collaborators to join me for happy hours, shared meals, and even movie nights so we can chat, share about our work, and have a little fun. Find the full list of August 2020 events here.

(Or, if you’re ready to dive right now, schedule a free 30-minute consultation so we can talk about the right coaching plan for you.)

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