Stop setting a New Year’s resolution:

Try a New Year’s intention

If you’re someone like me – who’s profoundly disappointed by the results of the 2024 U.S. election and are now terrified by what is to come in the next four years – setting and keeping a New Year’s resolution to keep the resistance going may feel like the right thing to do.

But, because I care about you and the resistance, I’m going to suggest another way forward. Because how many times have you actually kept a New Year’s resolution?

Case in point: Back when I was more of a gym rat, I remember a flood of new people using the pool and the treadmills right after Jan. 1. They were good people who had probably resolved to work out more in the new year. Now, a Forbes Health/One Poll survey found that the average resolution lasts 3.74 months, with three-quarters lasting less than five months, and 75% falling by the wayside by six months.

But based on observing the gym numbers for years, about 10 days is about how long that particular resolution usually lasts. Like clockwork, by Jan. 10 those New Year’s resolvers stopped coming to the gym and adding to the lines to get on a treadmill or a lane at the pool. 

Why New Year’s resolutions don’t work

Because of their reputation for failing, New Year’s resolutions can weigh us down with emotional baggage. We feel like we are not good enough to attain our goals. We might start to believe that we are lazy, a failure or dumb when in fact we are not failing – the system is failing us. Specifically, the toxic capitalist system (fueled by the lightning quick speed of our technology) conditions us to expect results instantaneously. Realistically, we know this isn’t possible. If you’ve ever attempted to learn a new thing in your life, you know that it takes a lot of time, practice and, yes, mistakes to get good at the thing you’re trying to master.

By its nature, a New Year’s resolution is learning a new skill or habit. You can expect a lot of failure in the process.

I really don’t want you nor the resistance to peter out after just a few days, so I’m going to suggest we start collectively setting intentions in community rather than resolutions all by yourself.

Try a New Year’s intention instead

If you’re not sure how to pick the right intention word or phrase, watch this video for a few options on how to set one.

Instead of making it goal-oriented, you could simply notice how your intention shows up in your experiences throughout the year and keep a journal or write down how you notice it on scraps of paper and keep them in a bowl or a jar. You can also use simple physical practices to help you re-form your behavior. For example, if you’re cultivating patience, you might work on taking a breath and return to your intention when you’re stressed and struggling to stay patient.

How to set a New Year’s intention

Setting a New Year’s intention doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are three approaches you could take to setting one.

Set your intention intuitively. Maybe a word or phrase pops to mind right away or after contemplating it for a while. If so, use it! It can be that simple. Or if you want to take it a step further, do a little journaling on the intention and imagine ways that it might show up for you in the coming year.

Use a reflection process to set your intention. Set a little time aside (5-15 minutes) to do some writing or drawing with the following questions. Start by observing your breath and body to settle in. (You can use some of my guided meditation practices if you need some support.) Then reflect on these questions:

• What qualities do you want this next year to have? What qualities do you want to cultivate in yourself? (Do a big brainstorm without judging or editing at first.)
• Step back and look at what you wrote or drew in the brainstorm. What themes are emerging? Circle or underline the ones that grab your attention.
• Write down or draw the word or phrase that captures your attention and make it your New Year’s intention!

Let the universe decide. Maybe you just don’t have the energy for reflection or are fresh out of ideas. Use a tool like these beautiful Angel Cards to pick a word that will guide you for the year. You can also pick a new one each day, week or month to guide your intention setting all year. I love them!

How to stick to your New Year’s intention

Just like a resolution, your intention could easily get forgotten in the hustle and bustle of daily life. So I suggest that you create a simple ritual around your intention to keep it front of mind. I like putting my intention on sticky notes and sticking them in places where I will see them often – on my bathroom mirror and on the cupboard where I keep my coffee and tea. When I see them, I will usually do at least a quick mental reflection on how that is showing up in my life or how I want it to guide my actions that day. If you want an even more dedicated time for reflection, you can journal about it one day each week before bedtime. Or you can get a plain jar and a pad of small pieces of paper. Once a week, write down some way that you saw your intention show up spontaneously or in something you did that reflected that intention. At the end of the year, read through each piece of paper and celebrate how much you grew in your intention!

Get support for your new year’s intention to rest