I sometimes hear the question indirectly through another student. I sometimes see the furrowed brow and perplexed look when I suggest a two-hour restorative yoga class to someone I’m meeting at a party. I can even imagine you making this confused expression or eyes...
Nicole Havelka
Practice Curiosity to End Division
My instinct always is to rush to judgment. I love pondering what someone else’s ulterior motives might be, making up an entire backstory as if I’m going to play that person in the TV adaptation of their life. I shut down and believe that they can never change or won’t...
Let’s Transform Our Exhaustion
The other day, I put my car key fob in a sweatshirt pocket and washed it with the laundry. Fortunately, the fob still worked after I dried it out and put in a new battery. The next day, I went to the grocery store only to discover that I left my wallet at home. The...
I didn’t even know I was lonely.
Last week I attended a community conversation at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church in Columbus, Ohio, on the topic of loneliness. The gathering was sponsored in part by the Ohio State University Interfaith Council (of which I am a member). Though I was very eager to...
What do you want your life to look like?
This question came to me in a flash of revelation when I was reading about grind and hustle culture for a podcast conversation last week. I joined Noni Banks, one of my favorite entrepreneurs, on The Diva Movement’s Hustle and Grow Podcast to talk about grind culture....
Building Muscle for Change
Packing and preparing to get out of the apartment was a slow, arduous process. I used to be a lean, mean, packing machine. But for this work trip, my first in two years, I put my suitcase out three days before I had to leave because I wasn’t sure how long it would...
How’s the Pressure?
I went to my delightful massage therapist earlier this week. She asked what she should focus on, and I complained about my lower back – not typically a problem for me. I explained that a few weeks earlier I felt like the usual tightness in my outer hips had reached up...
Giving Up the “Shoulds”
I’m nervous about my next yoga series. That’s a good thing. I just started a yoga series for the Christian season of Lent that explores Christian prayer practices, yoga movement (asana) and breath (pranayama), and some of the teachings of yoga (yamas/niyamas). It’s a...
There is No One Right Way
There is no one right way to do anything, including yoga poses. For the past few weeks in my yoga class, I’ve been encouraging participants to really make their practice their own. I’ve taken some of the more intimidating yoga asanas (poses) and vary them for what...
Awareness Is Your Best Tool for Self-Love
I had been wondering whether the pandemic turned this raging extrovert into an introvert. Although I’ve been comfortable being alone for some time, I feel even more at ease now. I even want to stay home by myself sometimes! Also a consummate traveler before the...
Loving Your Team Means Giving Them Purpose
If you follow me on Twitter, you may have heard me gush about an interview on the podcast “It’s Been a Minute with Sam Sanders” with Sarah Schulman, a journalist and member of ACT UP, a movement that fought the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s and 1990s. She has recently...
Self Love: An Origen Story
I figure you'll get enough of that commercialized romantic love BS from the holiday industrial complex in February. Let’s talk about loving ourselves instead. Romantic comedies often give lip service to loving ourselves when the protagonist of their story has trouble...
Time Management: It’s Not Your Fault
I’m a workaholic. It started in high school when I began taking on too many activities: theater and choir rehearsals, speech team competitions, college visits, high school newspaper deadlines. I learned to manage my own calendar because my mom could no longer...
Three Practices for Subverting Diet Culture
When I've gained weight (as I have in the pandemic), I have a tendency to engage in some really negative self-talk about my body. Not out loud. To myself. I would never say these things to another human, but somehow it’s acceptable to say them to myself. Why?...
Be a Time Boss: Get Less Done
When I was young, I must have thought time was infinite. I mean – time is infinite in the grand scheme of the universe – but my ability to use the time I have available is very finite. When I was young, I would say yes to every activity and commitment that I wanted to...